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Sleeping in Pashminas

by Ruby Nightingale

supported by
Christopher Woulfe
Christopher Woulfe thumbnail
Christopher Woulfe World's greatest singer. I will admit to some tiny bias but only very tiny. ;) Favorite track: Leaving, blooming..
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1.
A warning 03:00
Eyes swollen shut. Throat swollen shut. This is your warning: How far can you see in front of me? I would rather lie because I don't feel I deserve apologies- I've heard and said a lot already. So, I'll just be nice. Sometimes it's not enough just to be a beautiful dreamer. Being awake is harder. No one here knows that I'm naked. No one here knows that I'm telling lies. No one here knows that I'm swallowing smoke because you learnt well to close your eyes. So act happy for me with a smile so wide your teeth shine as bright as the way you wish your life could be. Soften your grip, for she is your blessed blood. You are the reason her pulse beats. You are the reason her heart speaks. I don't know when you're naked. I don't know when you're telling lies. I don't know when you're swallowing smoke because I learnt well to close my eyes. Why do you trust me? I lost that in you three years ago, and I've seen the bad that I can be, and the good that you sometimes see in me. With grins strung form our cheeks, we laugh shamelessly in our sleep. We keep them closed. No one here knows we're all naked. No one here knows we're all telling lies. No one here knows we're all swallowing smoke because we learnt well to close our naive eyes.
2.
The sea song 03:52
I am a daughter of the sea, but there are no ships that belong to me. Try and touch me if you can. We'll smile, you'll drown, and you begin again. I am a daughter of the blue, but someday maybe I'll belong to you. Follow, follow me into the deep. We'll lay our heavy heads down and we'll fall to sleep. I am a child of those know that if you sink too fast, you'll never grow. Stitch this quick into your lips before we are apart. Stitch this quick into your worried heart. I am a child of those that swim. If you're tired or alone, I might let you in. I am a daughter of the sea. We'll smile, we'll drown, and you will be with me.
3.
Your laces are not the same length, and your hair doesn't change with the leaves. Your arms feel too long when they're outstretched, and you're far too interesting to have straight teeth. Sometimes you miss your mum and your dad, and when your mum and dad were together. Sometimes you miss the friends you had before you shortened your heart's tether. Sometimes you wake up and you know that each time you do, you wake up a little further. And now you find you want to be awake even though you slept through all of last Spring semester.
4.
A boy once told he liked my ribs, and oh did those tears sting. Don't rub noses with boys like this, it's a dangerous thing. I am one cell in the honeycomb that once lied about being happy, but I didn't lie out of shame or pride, I just hate your sympathy. I have a friend who sees colour for pitch. Does that make him a musician or artist? I think it makes him both and I think for all of us there is hope, because we are two skeletons standing still, yet your body breathes like an accordion. I know you write songs about my lips and I pretend that I don't find them. Do you have a favourite freckle on my back? Do you take my kindness as weakness? Do you see me for all the things I lack? Do you think that my guilt is needless?
5.
Splitting 04:58
I feel stagnant. I feel still. I feel sleepless, limbs too heavy, but if you want me go, I will. You don't have to lie. I want to know what makes your limbs too heavy too heavy, what makes your dreams so slow. I wish I could take it away from you. I wish I could tell them to leave. But for as much I've felt, and I've mourned, and I've knelt, I would do it again for you if that's what you need. You look sorry, but that is not your place to dwell. Things are changing, things are different, and I'm so sorry as well. Things will be okay, this I know. We will make it, things will be better, just not today, not tomorrow.
6.
Betrayed by the weight of my own heart. Sink into the gone, the dark, the dark. If you are too afraid to speak, to speak, lower yourself to them and listen to them teach. Birds laugh in an empty cathédrale. I take an arrow. Where is le coeur de la fenêtre now? The birds, they are too afraid to reach, to reach. They fly into the dark- it's in the dark that I get weak. Trouvez-moi dans un jardin des étoiles. Comptez les oiseaux- les oiseaux ne sont jamais tard. Sous les yeux des arbres, je regarde, je regarde. Je veux voir un oiseau qui ne se moquera pas de moi.
7.
Whole 03:14
You think I'm homesick for Hong Kong, but I think I'm homesick for you too. And because of your art, the way you look for the good, your new tongue ring, and your new heart, I sometimes think I might still love you. I miss hearing someone else lock the front door when it's late and I'm already in bed, wishing that I could listen to some rain, but listening to Strauss instead. I can't make you whole. You take the stairs two at a time, and you find peace in loneliness. Don't forget I gave you your haircut. Don't forget you gave me time. Don't forget that in me you found rest. I miss sleeping away the summers with blankets on trampolines, unafraid of what might be underneath. Quiet and careful, while the starry scene you dreamt of would tempt me in my sleep. You can't make me whole. The night I understood you, I was under the godly gold and night-sky blue, lying on the roof, toes numb, fingers crossed toward the humble moon, saying, "Make me whole".
8.

about

Written in Hong Kong and CT.
Recorded in Hartford, CT.

credits

released March 10, 2015

Engineered/ mixed/ produced by Cameron Boucher
Mastered by Matt Baltrucki

Ruby Nightingale, voice, guitar, piano (8).
Adam Ackerman, bass, piano.
Nick Kwas, violin.

Art by Justyna Dabrowski


A very special thank you to all involved in the making of this album. So much love to Cam, Adam, and Nick. So much love to those who have supported me throughout this process.

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Ruby Nightingale London, UK

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